“All I want is for those who love me to love me no matter what. And if you can’t love me no matter what, love me from further away. And if you can’t love me at all, stay away altogether.” ~Shanna, Love Me or Leave Me I’ve been thinking about our failures in love a…
Tag: self love
Oops: The Power and the Problem with Positivity
Who would have ever thought there would be a problem with positivity? Not me. I have always been a pretty positive person. I think a natural byproduct of sustained childhood trauma is that you either come out internalizing all the trauma and ending up depressed or you say “fuck that shit” and you decide you…
Evolution of Self: Learning to Love My Spiral
I sat at my desk this morning, one day away from starting my period (according to my marvelous FitBit), and I welled up with tears as I told someone’s story for her. I was writing an admission essay for a client who had overcome a lot in her life, and I sat in her skin,…
How to Stop Running from Demons: From an Expert
Yes. I’m an expert. An expert runner. When I decided I was going to change my life over a year ago, I had no idea that it would take an entire year simply to realize what changing my life meant, forget the actual change part. We’ve all heard the age old advice that if you…
Hear Me Out: Life Is Not About Service to Others
Life is about service to yourself. Life is not about service to others. I know I have said this before in various essays and in various ways, but it bears repeating, especially since the vast majority of my writing is aimed at women. One of the biggest drains on women’s health is their constant serving…
How My Inner Peace Has Affected My Household
I walked out of my girls’ room a couple nights ago and found myself gently laying my hand flat on the door, smiling to myself. They are happy kids. Strong, smart, capable, and just genuinely happy kids. It was the first time in a long time I had actually even thought about it. And I…
It Is All About Beliefs: Why Reality Isn’t That Important
I was so hard for so long. I was hard. “Face the facts.” “Look at the data.” “The evidence doesn’t lie!” I was college educated; I knew so much; I had so much information. I read the news every day, read sociology and history books, scanned headlines throughout the day. I needed to know everything…
How Accepting Help Is an Expression of Love
“I can’t bring the kids to the library to meet you guys today. My battery died. I need a new one.” I messaged my friend early the other morning. “Oh no!” She responded. Then she followed up with a lovely offer to come pick us up and throw my kids’ carseats in her giant minivan…
Mindfulness: My Emotions on Food and Fitness
Mindfulness is an entirely new concept for me. Take food and fitness for just one example. Or two. For more than 20 years now, I throw myself into fitness when I’m well and fall into fatness when I’m unwell. I have lived on an emotional roller coaster of food and fitness. So I use food…
Chasing Success: Why It Has to Begin with Self Love
He sat there staring at the page, my last student of the day. He was already twenty minutes late. I was just about to leave work, happy to go home and finish up essays I have to write for clients. This is my last month at my tutoring center where I help high school kids…